First of all, Merry Christmas. :)
Second. Got something on my mind, want to get it down. Off my chest.
So I'm currently in a situation where, I wanted something. I wanted something, and sometimes I would get a little taste of it, just enough to satisfy me for a little bit. Then it would go away, and it was like it never happened. Which would leave me feeling empty, and I would then want IT more. I don't know why I kept wanting it. There was just something electric about it that made me feel different in a very good way. And there was always the chance that maybe it would actually mean something someday.
Then, I received something that made me forget about that other thing. However, it was only temporary. While I had THIS thing, I kept thinking of what I didn't have.....which was THAT thing. THIS lacked what I loved so much about THAT. Isn't that, not how its supposed to work? Wasn't I supposed to realize I never needed THAT other thing and that I had everything I wanted with THIS?
Now, I don't have anything. And instead of being sad of what I just lost, I'm sad about what I NEVER had. How. Fucked. Up.....Ew. Just. Ugh. Stupid irrational emotions.
I'm going to go listen to music that has lyrics that describe my emotions. Peace. :)
A meaningless diversion...that is all you ever meant to me.
Ohh snap oh no she didnt!!!!!
Oh yes I did! That JUST happened.