For the first time in what seems like...ever...I know what I want.
I have figured it out.
I know what I want and I know how to get there. What I need to do now is make it happen, and hope everything falls into place.
It seems like I have never known what I wanted. Typical quarter-life crisis junk. Starting with deciding what college to go to and trying to figure out what I wanted to study.
I ended up coming to Penn State Hazleton, but I always wondered what my life would be like had I chosen to go to Duquesne University instead. I still do but I'm not as concerned about it anymore because I'm glad I chose Penn State.
When it came to figuring out what I wanted to study, that has always been harder, and up until several months ago I was still completely torn.
I have always been interested in Psychology. I came into my first semester freshman year planning on majoring in Psych.
But then I started thinking, what would I do? See, I liked learning about psychology, I liked studying it. But I didn't want to become a psychologist. A psychiatrist? Definitely not. Maybe a guidance counselor? Hell to the no. Soooo I had a problem.
I decided to try marketing with a psych minor instead. It seemed like a nice compromise but there was still something nagging at me. What kind of job would I have?
One of my biggest fears is that I will hate my job, or find it boring. I DO NOT want that. I want to enjoy, for the most part, whatever I end up doing. Is that so much to ask? But I still felt that I was setting myself up for a boring ass job with my name on it.
I am not the typical business person. In the past I had always shunned the idea of majoring in business. When I think of business, I think of boring. Boring walls, depressing offices, tiny cubicles. Fucking ew.
But I started taking some business classes anyway. Yes, the classes were boring, but I found the content we were learning interesting. It surprised me. The idea of majoring in marketing became more comfortable and appealing. So I guess that's good. =P
Then late last summer I got an idea. Instead of minoring in psych, how about a communications minor. I still love psych but I'm not as interested in it as I once was.
So I had something figured out. Marketing major with a Communications minor. I could market MEDIA. I have absolutely no qualms or second thoughts, FOR ONCE! I love the idea. =D I can't wait to get out to Upark and start taking some marketing and comm classes.
Then, almost like a sign, my best friend Christine turned me on to something that instantly I felt, that's what I want to do. If everything works out I know it'll be just perfect, and exactly what I wanted all along. It'll be hard, though. Competitive. But it's actually something that I want to go after. No maybes. No we'll sees. It's a yes, I'm fucking doing it.
Where I see myself ending up is still a long way off though. But at least I know where I'm going.
